domingo, 14 de febrero de 2010

San Valentín

No voy a hacer ninguna disertación ante esta farsa infame que es San Valentín, simplemente (y a petición popular) voy a poner unos cuantos pensamientos inconexos y desordenados que me sugiere esta fecha.


- Si has regalado algo acabas de entrar dentro del grupo de personas por el que siento indiferencia.

- Si has regalado algo y además estas orgulloso de ello acabas de entrar dentro del grupo de personas por el que siento compasión.

- Si has regalado algo, estas orgulloso y además te haces el guay delante de las parejas de los demás, acabas de entrar dentro del grupo de personas por el que siento desprecio.

Axioma: No os fiéis de las personas que regalan en San Valentín.

Corolario: La gente es muy ridícula.

Vamos a hacer una pequeña tabla a modo de guía con los regalos tipo que se hacen en esta fecha y las consecuentes medidas que se deberían tomar.

- Bombones: Tu pareja tiene tanta imaginación como un macetero de barro. Seguramente sea también muy aburrida y hará de tu vida una monotonía infernal.  Abandónala.

- Flores: Tu pareja es muy antigua. Es absurdo seguir con las actitudes de caballero español que tiene que salvar a la princesa de cualquier vicisitud peligrosísima, tales como abrir las puertas, llevar las maletas o pagar las cuentas de los restaurantes. No merece la pena tanto gasto energético. Abandónala.
 

-Bisutería/Joyería: Tu pareja tiene muy poca fuerza de voluntad y un nivel de horterismo importante. En especial me gustan esos colgantes dobles que cada uno de la pareja se pone y quedan unidos para siempre (sentimentalmente hablando). Abandona a tu pareja de inmediato porque seguro que se esta cepillando todo lo que se mueve. 

- Algo con forma de corazón: Tu pareja es tan ñoña que a la gente le dan arcadas cuando la ven por la calle. Déjala cuanto antes o corres el riesgo de volverte diabético.

- Una mascota (un cachorro de Golden Retriever generalmente): Tu pareja es más tonta que un zapato. Se debe creer una persona estupenda, pero no ha debido pensar donde ostias cabe un perro en un minipiso de 40 metros cuadrados. Abandona a tu pareja, al perro y toda esperanza.

Si te sientes identificado con alguno de estos regalos, no te preocupes, asume tu situación y actúa en consecuencia. Pero que sepas que estas jodido.

Para que el trago sea menos amargo voy a dejaros una impresionante canción de una banda que particularmente me encanta desde hace tiempo. The Temper Trap se llaman, son Australianos y acaban de sacar nuevo disco, el tercero en su carrera.

Pero no voy a ponerles un tema del nuevo, voy a dejarles el pelotazo del anterior, que es de estas canciones que podrías estar escuchando una y otra vez. Este Sweet Disposition tiene algo adictivo.

49 comentarios:

sol dijo...

Necesitaba algo así....creí que iba a morir intoxicada. Y encima pones a unos australianos!! ayyyyssssshhhhhh!! (lagrimilla cayendo...)*

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